Crowfire - Rogue

[♦ glitter ♦]

I'm so sick, infected with, where I live
Let me live without this empty bliss, selfishness,
I'm so sick.

♦ Name ♦
crowfire

♦ Age ♦
thirty four moons

♦ Rank ♦
ex-shadowclan warrior

♦ Gender ♦
she-cat

♦ Allegiance ♦
rogue

♦ Description ♦

for a rogue, she is rather small, with lean, well cut muscles make her quite lithe and very agile. her head is very angular, like a siamese cat, and her fur is soft and not very long on her face. a small scar runs from her left shoulder to her left haunch. it stands out bare and gray against her black and white silky pelt. her legs are short, yet thin and bony. Her paws are also quite small and are all black. the pads are a deep gray and scared terribly. along her spine, you can see her ribs and her pelt falls loosely over her body like a ragged blanket. hinder’s eyes are a dark green, and very emotionless. her face is also very gaunt, giving her a haunting, yet intimidating look, despite her small frame.

♦ Personality ♦

Despite being small and not very intimidating physically,
this is one cat that feels she has the world in her paws. She definitely holds herself up above everyone else and makes sure they know it too. Cold towards most cats, with a very strong opinion Crowfire will force her thoughts and feelings about things down your throat until you understand and accept what she is saying. She never back downs from confrontation, actually, she welcomes it and does not mind arguing in front of everyone if it means that more cats will jump in to take her on. Physical confrontation doesn’t scare her either, but she would prefer it if it didn’t come to that, considering her small size.

Arrogance is never truly arrogance unless you have the mouth to back it up and she sure does. There is no insult too rude for her. If she thinks it and you pissed her off, boy, you are going to get it, in every way. If you say something to her that she doesn’t like, she will shut you down so fast you won’t know what hit you. And she is not open to others opinions at all. She sticks to what she believes in and no amount of persuading will make her change her mind. What she says goes in her eyes and if it doesn’t then there will be hell to pay. Of course, this gets in her trouble, but that doesn’t stop her at all.

There is nothing more satisfying than falling in love with that one cat that can make everything seem right in the world and that is what she wants. However, the way she acts is a turn off for most toms, which isn’t surprising but she doesn’t know and other way to act and she feels the affects of her attitude everyday as it tears away at her aching heart that no one is willing to fill. Her longing for a tom to nurture her pushes her to the brink of insanity when no one steps up to see what she is like when she isn’t angry. She knows she is scary when she is mad, but she still hopes that one day, someone will get up the courage to come up to her and fall in love with her. It makes her crazy when she watches her Clanmates being happy and in love with each other and only makes her loneliness worse and in turn her anger. This is one of the reasons why she left the Clan.


♦ History ♦
From the moment she was three moons old, she knew that she was an outcast within her own family. Absolutely nothing like her mother and father who were the sweetest cats on the plant, and her two brothers who were the definition of golden kits, she was gone before she was an apprentice. She was loved by her mother, no doubt about it, but she knew that she was a disappointment. For one, she was the runt; she was tiny compared to her large brothers. Hawkkit was already getting big, and Kindlekit was no different. When their sixth moon came around they were all easily paired off. But by now, Crowkit had already uncovered her dark side, her temper.

Training went well for the most part, but where her brothers excelled in fighting she failed, and hardly made up for it in her hunting abilities and she developed a very prominent sense of ‘woah is me’. She’d walk around the camp sulking about how badly she sucked at being an apprentice and would get angry at the simplest things until her brothers pulled her aside and told her to get real and start acting like the warrior she was going to be. She hated them for that talk, how they ganged up on her and made her feel even more useless than she already felt, but after that, she changed. She pushed herself in her training and instead of giving up she got angry at herself and repeated fighting moves until she could do it in near perfection.

After that, her training was definitely smooth sailing but she got herself in a lot of trouble in her tenth moon when she decided it would be a good idea to challenge the leader on his ideas for a border attack. A small voice in the crowd, but loud enough and passionate enough in how she felt they all heard her and she was looked down upon greatly for what she said. If her parents weren’t disappointed in her before then, they were now. They were embarrassed to call her their daughter and even her brothers who stuck up for her and tried to help her turned a blind eye on their sister. How could you love someone so cold and opinionated?

Slowly approaching her date of warrior ship, Crowfire’s temper became even more so her downfall when it became her everyday personality. Her Clanmates couldn’t talk to her without getting their tails bitten off and her cold stares and loathing for herself and her family pushed her into herself and away from the Clan that she had grown up in. At fifteen moons, she was an exile within her own bloody Clan and it was all her fault. She decided that she would not give the Clan the satisfaction of breaking her arrogance so she threw herself at them, into their talks, their discussions even if it meant that she would get looked at with disgust and sometimes fear. She was achieving what she wanted all along, respect. A twisted sort of respect, but it was respect nonetheless in her eyes.

Over the next few moons or so, she started to feel something she had felt all her life, but to a much more intense degree: loneliness. Not just being alone within in the Clan, it was being alone in herself. When you have a lot of time to think without disruptions, you start to pick apart your life and who you are until you are left with a skeletal version of what you used to be. And this is what she did. She picked apart her life right down to the point where she put up such a fierce barrier around her mind that she had no allies or friends. And surprisingly, the hardest herb to swallow was the fact that she was mateless.

Crowfire had always loved kits, even if she didn’t admit and secretly longed for ones of her own, but she never brought it up to the surface of her mind, until then. The biggest strike was when she realized that she would probably never have kits unless she learned how to love again and to be nice to the Clan that had disowned her. However, she knew that would never happen, she was too damn proud to admit that she had made the mistake of turning her back on her mates. In the seclusion of her mind, she bordered on insanity, to an extent as she longed for something that will change the way the Clan saw her, or at least, on tom brave enough to open up her heart again and take back the cat she was, but she has long given up those hopes.

One day, something inside of her snapped and she realized the Clan didn't want her around. They had started to exclude her, and not care where she was. Of course, this was not exactly the case, but in her mind this is what was happening. She left, and she swears to never come back.